Category: Non Euclidean Politics
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Big In a Texas
Once upon a time, being big in Japan meant you’d failed in America but succeeded in myth. These days, we’ve moved the mirage inland. Now it’s Texas — the South Capital of Soft Capital — where every hustler, coder, and half-famous band gathers to pretend they’re building something that matters. I wasn’t looking forward to…
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Abundance
Abundance is just trickle-down economics in Patagonia fleece and Allbirds—cozy, sustainable vibes while selling Reaganomics with a Substack subscription, still catering to the top but with a personal essay explaining why the same old supply-side stuff is actually good for everyone. This late I’m the game pitching a deck of faux YIMBY-ism for tax cuts—full…
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Fear of the Shakes
Look, pal, let’s get something straight, okay? I don’t have time for your bullshit. I need five grams of coke, ketamine, MDMA, meth, Adderall, ecstasy, oxy—whatever the hell the market’s cooking up these days. A little PCP, a dash of heroin, if that’s what’s trending. Don’t tell me it’s not necessary. It is. I don’t…
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Crypto Strategic Reserve: A Chronicle of Hybrid Collapse
Act I:The Golden Mirage The U.S. Empire, armored in Fordist steel and atomic swagger, once anchored the global economy to a sacred lie: the dollar as gold’s Siamese twin. Bretton Woods was less a financial system than a state religion—fixed rates, convertible faith, the handshake of empires. But by 1971, Nixon, that grandmaster of realpolitik,…
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Diary of a Liberal
To the Editor of The New York Times, It has come to my attention that some of the policies championed by liberals—those of us who have tirelessly upheld reason, civility, and, I dare say, the very fabric of modern society—have been blamed for the post-2008 economic crisis and, more alarmingly, for the rise of Trump…
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Permaservism
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” The Eagles’ Hotel California was once just a cryptic allegory—rock-star excess, American decadence, or some vague sense of spiritual entrapment. But these days, it feels more like a business model. A system that isn’t quite capitalism, isn’t quite socialism, and isn’t quite…
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UBI for Goobers
Somewhere in the rotting heart of the American experiment, I found myself on a government-funded Greyhound bound for an undisclosed location—the proving grounds for Universal Basic Income. They wouldn’t tell me where I was going, only that I’d be “embedded” with the first generation of economic refuseniks: the Goobers. A new class of citizen, neither…
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The Great American Firewall
San Francisco, 2025. Up in the Hills, the Masters of the Universe are slumped in Herman Miller chairs, IV-dripping horse tranquilizers straight into their overclocked nervous systems. Ketamine—the official drug of the techno-aristocracy—keeps the existential dread at bay, smooths out the jagged edges of a collapsing world. One minute they’re at a fireside chat mumbling…
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Intraclass Warfare
In contemporary capitalism, we observe a recurring phenomenon in which one faction of the professional-managerial class (PMC) sacrifices another sector within its own class, ostensibly in the name of progress, accessibility, or efficiency. This process, which we might term sacrificial disruption, serves two simultaneous functions: first, it gains ideological legitimacy from below (by appealing to…