Category: Non Euclidean Politics
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The Great American Firewall
San Francisco, 2025. Up in the Hills, the Masters of the Universe are slumped in Herman Miller chairs, IV-dripping horse tranquilizers straight into their overclocked nervous systems. Ketamine—the official drug of the techno-aristocracy—keeps the existential dread at bay, smooths out the jagged edges of a collapsing world. One minute they’re at a fireside chat mumbling…
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Intraclass Warfare
In contemporary capitalism, we observe a recurring phenomenon in which one faction of the professional-managerial class (PMC) sacrifices another sector within its own class, ostensibly in the name of progress, accessibility, or efficiency. This process, which we might term sacrificial disruption, serves two simultaneous functions: first, it gains ideological legitimacy from below (by appealing to…
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The Great Atlantic Dog Show
I arrived in Brussels at dawn, trailing the scent of duty-free bourbon and whatever questionable chemicals I’d ingested somewhere over the Atlantic. The city had the feel of an overgrown bank lobby, marble and bureaucracy stretching endlessly in every direction, occupied by men who had long since traded their souls for mid-tier diplomatic immunity. It…
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Make Communism Great Again
The pearl-clutching over Vitalik’s comment seems to imply that all those crying foul are the ones who’d be out of moves and scrambling for a new hassle if crypto ever manages to design democracy as a self-executing machine. After all, if the system runs itself, transparent and fair, with smart contracts automating policies like universal…
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Strategic Adaptation:
Avoiding the Maginot Line While Preparing for Dunkirk History is littered with examples of great defenses that failed—not because they weren’t strong, but because they defended the wrong thing in the wrong way. Whether in military conflict, political struggle, or institutional survival, the lesson is the same: true defense is about adaptability, not just fortification.…
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The Great Re-Centralization: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Drug Trade
There was a time when the gears of the global narcotics machine ran with the quiet efficiency of a well-oiled state department initiative. The system was Byzantine, sure—layers of plausible deniability, offshore bank accounts, non-profits with names that sounded vaguely humanitarian—but at the end of the day, the cocaine got where it needed to go,…
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How Crypto Lost to DraftKings
There was a time when men gambled like savages. They staked their fortunes on dice and horses, whiskey-stained cards in desert casinos run by men with deep voices and dead eyes. But those were better days. Now, we have apps. We have algorithms. We have blockchain. Or so I thought. For the past month, I…
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Incitatus
“Look, folks, a lot of people are saying that making Incitatus a consul was a crazy idea. Fake news. Total hit job. But let me tell you, Incitatus is a tremendous horse. A winner. Probably the best horse Rome has ever seen, okay? Incredible stamina—much better than some of the losers in the Senate, swamp…
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Generally Upward Moving Swine
Somewhere deep in the neon gulag of the 21st century, where men in fleece vests and Allbirds whisper hosannas to their algorithmic overlords, a new and hideous breed of sycophant has emerged—the Tech Toady, the simpering priest of digital feudalism. I have seen bootlicking before. Hollywood has its share of grovelers, yes—but at least the…
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Vegetables
MAGA doesn’t give a damn about tariffs on fruit and vegetables because their food pyramid is built from steak, rage, and the dried-up tears of a civilization they claim to despise but can’t live without. Vegetables are a direct assault on their brittle sense of self—an affront to the sacred right to wallow in self-indulgence…