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Stargate
Ah, yes, the Stargate project—an allegory for the present moment, a monument to the madness of techno-optimism, with its endless stream of corporate behemoths like SoftBank, Oracle, Microsoft, NVIDIA, and others all rubbing their hands together in glee. It’s as if we’ve entered a dystopian remake of the 1994 Stargate film, this time with some…
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Sympathy for the Grift
Democrats are trickle-down economics in disguise, while Republicans are a perpetual motion machine of wealth—promising infinite returns as long as the last investor keeps buying in. Democrats are the sanctimonious snake-oil salesmen of trickle-down economics, dressed up in the shiny robes of progress, muttering the same tired chant: “If we feed the rich just right,…
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Playing For Possession: How the Democrats Got Benched for 2028
“Playing for possession: controlling the game without taking the risks to win.” The Democrats have been hit with back-to-back personal fouls, unsportsmanlike conduct, and an ejection for unnecessary skittishness, leaving them with no room on the scoreboard and no time left on the clock. Think of it like this: they blew a 3-1 lead in…
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Nazi Salute
Ah, the Elon stans—how delightful their contradictions are! First, they deny: “It wasn’t a Nazi salute!” And yet, in the same breath, they invoke the shadow of Wernher von Braun, the man who quite literally rocketed from the swastika to the stars. Here lies the paradox of modern techno-fetishism: the absolute refusal to reconcile the…
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Casino Nation: The Havana Doctrine
It’s my long-but barely held together theory that the descendants of the Diaspora—no, not a Diaspora, but the Diaspora—are hellbent on remaking America in the image of 1957 Fulgencio Batista’s Havana. Think about it: a glossy, neon-lit illusion of freedom where vice reigns supreme, the rich ride roughshod over the poor, and every two-bit hustler…
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Tokenistan/Big in Japan
Y’all remember back when money was just… money? paces across stage Man, nowadays you got people investing their life savings in something called “MoonPuppyElonRocket Coin.” What kind of name is that? imitates crypto bro voice “Nah man, you don’t understand, it’s gonna revolutionize the way we buy digital pictures of bored monkeys… TO THE MOON!”…
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Survivor’s Guilt
As I was watching Los Angeles burn last week, I felt a deep, unshakeable crumminess. The flames seemed to carry with them a weight of history, of loss, and of survival itself. It was in that moment that the last few Paul McCartney albums I had been listening to—albums I hadn’t given much thought to—suddenly…
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Extras
Ah, cryptography! It’s like Andy Millman in Extras, no? At first, it presents itself as this pure, untouchable ideal—a bastion of privacy and individuality in a world determined to collapse all boundaries. It says, “No! I will not compromise!” But what happens? Reality intrudes. And what is reality if not the persistent erosion of the…
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A Mythology for the Distracted Age
Netflix and Amazon walk into a bar. Netflix orders a cocktail called The Cliffhanger, garnished with a hastily-scribbled napkin that says “Season 2 Coming Soon.” Amazon, meanwhile, demands the bartender blend every book on the shelf into a smoothie, then pours it over their own head while shouting, “This is what the people want!” Netflix’s…
Got any album or book recommendations?