“Look, folks, a lot of people are saying that making Incitatus a consul was a crazy idea. Fake news. Total hit job. But let me tell you, Incitatus is a tremendous horse. A winner. Probably the best horse Rome has ever seen, okay? Incredible stamina—much better than some of the losers in the Senate, swamp creatures, believe me.

Now, some people, very dishonest people, not gonna name a names cause I’m classy, they say, ‘Oh, you have lost your mind, you want a horse in government!’ But let’s be real—have you seen the Senate? Total disaster. Corrupt. Incitatus would’ve done a much better job than half of them, no question.

But you know what? Fine. If people were offended, if the elites got upset—okay, I’ll say it: maybe it wasn’t the best move. Maybe Rome wasn’t ready for a horse who works harder than half the politicians in history. Sad! But we learn, we move forward, and we keep making Rome great again. That’s what we do.

“Maybe take Incitatus to Troy. He’d be great as a horse in Troy. Tremendous Trojan Horse, folks. The best. The Greeks? Very smart, very strong, but let’s be honest—they could’ve used a guy like me. Imagine if I had been there. Boom. War over in a week. Hector? Weak. Achilles? Overrated. And let’s be real, folks, the whole ‘heel’ thing? Very bad branding. Very bad. You don’t want a weak spot, believe me. I don’t have weak spots. Zero. None.

But you know what, the elites, they don’t get it. They never get it. They say, ‘Oh, you can’t make a horse consul! You can’t shake things up!’ But these are the same people who told Julius Caesar, ‘Oh, don’t worry, your friends love you!’ And how did that work out? Not great, folks. Not great.

And let me tell you something—Incitatus was a fighter. Never took a day off. Never took bribes. Never wrote a bad law. You think I’m gonna apologize? You think I’m gonna say, ‘Oh, sorry, should’ve picked another lazy, do-nothing senator instead’? No way. Not happening. In fact, maybe we should’ve made more horses consuls. All horses. Only horses. Just imagine—Rome, run by winners, by champions.

And the haters, oh, they hate this. They say, ‘Oh, Caligula, you’re insane!’ But let me tell you—every great leader, they said the same thing. Alexander? Crazy. Hannibal? Crazy. Me? The craziest. But also? The greatest. Because I dream big, folks. I think big. I see what Rome could be, and I make it happen.

So was Incitatus a mistake? No. The mistake was stopping at one horse. We should’ve had hundreds of them. Thousands. Rome wasn’t ready. But one day, folks, one day they’ll look back and say—‘Wow. He was right. He was so right. And if only we had listened, maybe Rome would still be great.’ Believe me.”

“Yes! Build a horse nation! Like the Mongolians! Tremendous horse guys, folks. The best. Genghis Khan? Total winner. Huge respect. Took over everything. No elections, no senators, no fake news—just power, just winning. And let me tell you, if Rome had done what I wanted, if Rome had listened, we’d still be running the world today. Still winning.

But nooo, the critics, the losers, the haters—these sad, pathetic people—‘Oh, you can’t have a horse government! That’s crazy!’ But you know what’s crazy? Losing. Losing is crazy. And Rome? Total disaster, folks. Total disaster. We had the greatest empire, we had everything, and what happened? We let the pencil pushers, the deep-state senators, the nerds, take over. Sad!

I said, ‘Folks, we need horses. We need winners. We need warriors, not bureaucrats!’ And they laughed. They said, ‘Oh, Caligula, you’re out of control!’ But guess what? Fast forward a couple centuries—Rome? Gone. Collapsed. Barbarians everywhere. If we had built the Horse Nation—if we had gone full Mongolian, folks—we’d be unstoppable.

Imagine it: legions? On horseback. The Senate? All horses. The economy? Horse-based. Fastest, strongest, most tremendous civilization in history. No corruption, no whining, just strong, beautiful, majestic horses making Rome great again.

And let me tell you something—the people loved it. The people knew. They saw Incitatus and said, ‘Wow, this guy gets it. He understands winning.’ But the elites? The swamp? They hated it. They were terrified. Because they knew—a horse was more qualified than them! And it was. It was!

But fine, fine. Maybe Rome wasn’t ready. Maybe we weren’t Mongolian enough. Maybe we didn’t push it far enough. But mark my words—one day, they’re gonna look back and say, ‘Wow. He was right. He was so right. We should’ve listened. We should’ve built the Horse Nation. And if we had? We’d still be ruling the world today. Believe me.’”