Jesus Figures and the Marriage of High Testosterone + Neurodivergent

The relentless search for contemporary “Jesus figures” to deliver us from the oppressive grip of “the man” reveals a profound discontent with the existing ideological structure, one that is emblematic of our late capitalist condition. This can be interpreted as the collective’s desperate attempt to fill the void of the objet petit a—the unattainable object of desire, that which is always missing. This figure is expected to embody the lost cause, the pure subject who, untainted by the symbolic order, can somehow lead us to redemption.

But why the specific allure of high testosterone combined with neurodivergence? Here, we encounter a fascinating inversion reminiscent of Nietzsche’s “slave morality,” but with a distinctly postmodern twist. In classical slave morality, the oppressed transmute their weakness into a kind of moral superiority. Now, however, in a world where traditional masculinity and conformity to societal norms have been pathologized, the outcast—the one who refuses to conform to the master signifier of late capitalist normalcy—becomes the hero. This is not merely a Nietzschean reversal but a symptom of a deeper crisis in the symbolic order itself.

We could argue that this new archetype reflects an underlying anxiety in the collective unconscious. The traditional hero—rational, composed, and aligned with the symbolic law—no longer resonates in a world that feels increasingly chaotic and unmoored. Instead, we project our desire for liberation onto figures who seem to operate outside the law, who embody the raw, untamed forces that the symbolic order attempts to repress. This is the real of the neurodivergent, whose very existence is a challenge to the seamless functioning of the ideological apparatus.

Yet, this elevation of the neurodivergent, high-testosterone figure is fraught with contradictions. Is this not the ultimate fetishization of the symptom? By glorifying those who resist or are marginalized by the dominant order, we risk reinforcing the very structures we seek to escape. We are mistaking the symptom—the visible sign of our discontent—for the cure. The neurodivergent, high-testosterone savior is but another fantasy, another screen onto which we project our desire for a new master, one who can somehow deliver us from the contradictions of our existence without fundamentally altering the underlying structure.

Thus, the search for these “Jesus figures” reveals less about the potential for genuine liberation and more about our inability to confront the true nature of our discontent. We cling to the hope that someone from outside the system can save us, while refusing to acknowledge that it is the system itself that must be transformed. In this way, the marriage of high testosterone and neurodivergence becomes a new slave morality, one that allows us to critique the system while remaining safely within its bounds, never fully challenging the symbolic order that defines our reality.

“And Now for Something Completely Theological…”

(Scene: A dusty marketplace in ancient Jerusalem. The hustle and bustle of traders, animals, and shouts create a lively atmosphere. In the middle of it all stands a large, garish, neon sign that reads: “Messiah Coming Soon!” Below the sign, a group of Jewish scribes are gathered, peering intently at scrolls and arguing amongst themselves.)

Narrator: (In a deep, overly dramatic voice) In the bustling bazaars of Jerusalem, where the smell of spices mingled with the occasional whiff of sanctity, something extraordinary was brewing. The Jews, a people renowned for their patience, perseverance, and penchant for bagels, were about to produce something so monumental, so earth-shattering, that they themselves would be utterly flabbergasted by it.

(Cut to a close-up of a scribe, who suddenly looks up from his scroll.)

Scribe #1: (In a high-pitched, slightly whiny voice) Oy vey, what do you mean, He’s the Messiah? This carpenter’s son from Nazareth? Surely, there’s been some kind of mix-up!

Scribe #2: (Shrugs) Well, he does have that whole “Son of God” thing going for him. You can’t deny the marketing potential.

Scribe #1: (Throws his hands up) Marketing potential? What is this, a divine Ponzi scheme? We were promised a Messiah who’d smite our enemies, not give them free fish!

(Cut to a wide shot of the marketplace. Suddenly, in a burst of light and a puff of smoke, enters a man in a toga, looking thoroughly out of place.)

Narrator: Enter Paul, a man who had spent his early years persecuting Christians, only to be knocked off his horse on the road to Damascus by a blinding light and a voice that said…

(Close-up of Paul, who raises a hand to his ear.)

Voice of Heaven: (Off-screen, booming and authoritative) Paul, stop being such a killjoy and go spread the good news! And don’t forget to take some Greek philosophy with you; these folks need a bit of a cultural upgrade.

Paul: (Nods sagely) Right, Greek thought. It’s like hummus for the soul—blends perfectly with everything.

(Cut to Paul standing before a group of the disciples, who are seated around a large table, eating bread and looking thoroughly confused.)

Paul: (Speaking slowly, as if to children) Listen, chaps, I know you’ve all been doing your best, what with the miracles and parables and whatnot. But it seems you’ve missed the point. Jesus wasn’t just here for the locals—He’s gone global! And for that, we need to spice things up with a bit of Plato, a dash of Aristotle, maybe some Socratic method. You know, give it that Greco-Roman flair!

Peter: (Scratching his head) But Paul, we were doing fine! We’ve got loaves, we’ve got fishes, we’ve got wine that used to be water…

Paul: (Interrupting) Yes, yes, all very impressive, but do you know what you don’t have? Metaphysics! Ontology! Epistemology! How can you expect to spread the Good News without a proper framework of abstract philosophical concepts?

(The disciples exchange puzzled looks.)

John: (Leaning over to Peter, whispering) Did he just make up those words?

Peter: (Shrugging) I think they’re Greek. It’s all Greek to me.

Narrator: And so, dear viewers, while the disciples were busy trying to figure out how to conjugate “ontology” in Aramaic, Paul set off on a grand adventure, spreading the message of Christ to the furthest reaches of the Roman Empire. Along the way, he managed to confuse, confound, and convert countless souls by mixing the simple, straightforward teachings of Jesus with the complex, head-scratching philosophy of the Greeks.

(Cut to a scene of Paul standing before a large group of toga-clad Greeks, holding a scroll with the words “Epistle to the Romans” written on it. The Greeks are nodding thoughtfully, stroking their chins.)

Narrator: The result? A religion that was part miracle, part mystery, and all thoroughly incomprehensible to the average Judean fisherman.

(Cut back to the marketplace in Jerusalem. The scribes are still arguing, oblivious to the world-changing events taking place just beyond their borders.)

Scribe #1: (Throwing up his hands) I don’t care what they say—this Jesus fellow doesn’t fit the job description! Where’s the fire and brimstone? The smiting? The parting of seas?

Scribe #2: (Muttering) Maybe they outsourced that part.

Narrator: And so it was that the Jews, who had unwittingly produced the most famous figure in history, found themselves scratching their heads in bewilderment as the world around them changed in ways they could scarcely comprehend. As for the disciples, they continued to spread the message of love, forgiveness, and Greek philosophy, all while trying to figure out what exactly a “metaphysical dualism” was.

(The scene fades to black, and the sound of distant, uproarious laughter fills the air.)

Narrator: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how a humble carpenter’s son from Nazareth became the cornerstone of Western civilization, all thanks to a bit of divine intervention and a healthy dose of Hellenistic thought.

(The scene cuts to the iconic Monty Python foot, which comes down with a squelch, ending the sketch.)

Voiceover: And now for something completely different!