OLIVARES (slamming open the door):

Gentlemen! Welcome to a new age of finance. Spain is proud to unveil its latest instrument of international liquidity: the Soul-Backed Evangelical Bond.

GENOESE BANKER (twitching):

What… exactly backs this bond?

OLIVARES (beaming):

Salvation.

(He clicks, and the Jesuit Consultant unfurls a scroll depicting cherubs baptizing Indigenous Americans.)

OLIVARES (cont’d):

For every 1,000 ducats you lend us, we guarantee:

The spiritual salvation of at least four souls in New Spain. One hundred rosaries, blessed by someone who has definitely met the Pope. And a notarized indulgence, suitable for framing or eternal damnation insurance.

DUTCH ENVOY:

Is this… collateral?

OLIVARES:

Better. It’s moral yield. These are grace-indexed returns, gentlemen.

GENOESE BANKER:

But how do we redeem these bonds?

OLIVARES:

Redemption is the point! The soul is eternal. Unlike your ledgers, which we may or may not recognize next quarter.

/The Count-Duke gestures to the scribe, who begins drafting a papal-sounding letter titled “On the Virtues of Deferred Payment.”)

OLIVARES (cont’d):

We’re also offering grace tranches. Tier One includes baptisms and full confessionals. Tier Two—just a firm handshake and a whispered Ave Maria. But the interest compounds either way—in heaven.

DUTCH ENVOY:

This sounds like religious indulgences wrapped in bankruptcy.

OLIVARES:

It’s a structured spiritual instrument. We call it… the Salvation Swap.

GENOESE BANKER:

Are you proposing to securitize mass conversion?

OLIVARES:

We prefer to say divinely collateralized.

(A bell tolls ominously outside. The Jesuit bows and leaves to light candles somewhere.)

# ACT II

INT. ROYAL TREASURY, MADRID – THREE MONTHS LATER

The room is now adorned with elaborate charts showing “Soul Yields” and “Baptismal Futures.” OLIVARES stands proudly before a small group of increasingly skeptical European financiers.

OLIVARES:

Gentlemen! Our first-quarter salvation metrics have exceeded expectations. 

He gestures dramatically to a ROYAL ACCOUNTANT who unfurls a scroll with numbers.

ROYAL ACCOUNTANT (nervously):

We’ve baptized seventeen thousand souls in Peru alone. That’s a grace-adjusted return of… um… infinity percent.

VENETIAN BANKER:

But the silver fleet is three months overdue, and our actual returns remain at zero ducats.

OLIVARES (dismissively):

Temporal returns! So limiting. Our Jesuit analysts have developed a new metric: EBITDA.

PORTUGUESE MERCHANT:

Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization?

OLIVARES:

Evangelism Before Indulgence, Tithes, Damnation, and Absolution! The growth is exponential.

OLIVARES snaps his fingers. A PRIEST wheels in a model of a cathedral with coin slots.

OLIVARES (cont’d):

Introducing our latest innovation: the Sacramental Deposit Account. Each soul-share now comes with perpetual prayer options.

GENOESE BANKER (rubbing temples):

My syndicate has concerns about liquidity…

OLIVARES:

Ah! We’ve addressed that with Holy Water Liquidity Pools.

He produces a small vial with a wax seal.

OLIVARES (cont’d):

Each drop blessed by three different orders of monks for triple-A spiritual security.

FLORENTINE INVESTOR:

The Medici Bank requires actual repayment schedules.

OLIVARES:

Of course! We’re offering flexible repayment options in three currencies: Spanish doubloons, divine grace, or conquistador promissory notes. Pick any two!

The DUTCH ENVOY examines a contract closely.

DUTCH ENVOY:

This clause states that in case of default, the bond converts to… prayers for our souls?

OLIVARES:

Premium prayers! By monks who haven’t spoken in decades. Their spiritual focus is unmatched.

ROYAL ACCOUNTANT (whispering urgently):

Your Excellency, the courier from America brings news…

OLIVARES (loudly interrupting):

Wonderful! I’m sure it’s about the overwhelming success of our missionary positions!

ROYAL ACCOUNTANT:

No, sir. The silver convoy was… diverted. By Dutch ships.

All eyes turn to the DUTCH ENVOY, who sips his wine innocently.*

OLIVARES (recovering quickly):

A temporary setback! This is why diversification into spiritual assets is crucial. Unlike silver, souls cannot be pirated!

DUTCH ENVOY:

Actually, we Calvinists might disagree…

OLIVARES (ignoring him):

Gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce our newest offering: Purgatorial Default Swaps. Insurance against spiritual bankruptcy!

He gestures to a MONK who unveils a terrifying painting of souls in purgatory, with arrows indicating “Expedited Processing.”

ACT III

INT. ROYAL TREASURY, MADRID – SIX MONTHS LATER

The treasury has been transformed. Rows of MONKS sit at small desks, each solving complex theological equations with abacuses. A large board displays “SOUL-CHAIN: BLOCKS VALIDATED TODAY: 144.”

OLIVARES (proudly):
Behold, gentlemen! The SoulChain – Spain’s revolutionary salvation ledger system!

He gestures to a massive illuminated manuscript chained between several MONKS.

OLIVARES (cont’d):
Every baptism, confession, and indulgence is now recorded on our distributed sacred ledger. Immutable! Transparent! Divine!

GENOESE BANKER (examining the setup):
So… who maintains these records?

OLIVARES:
That’s the brilliance! Our network of monasteries each maintains identical copies. To add new souls to the ledger, monks must solve complex theological proofs – we call it “Proof of Prayer.”

A MONK completes a calculation and rings a small bell triumphantly.

MONK:
Block 1637! Verified and sealed with the royal wax!

OLIVARES:
See? Once 51% of our monasteries verify a conversion, it becomes permanently recorded in the SoulChain. No bishop, cardinal, or even the Pope himself can alter it!

FLORENTINE INVESTOR:
But what prevents false entries? What if someone claims more conversions than occurred?

OLIVARES:
The divine consensus mechanism! Each monk must sacrifice valuable prayer time to solve these theological puzzles. The harder they pray, the more secure our ledger!

He leads them to a massive room where MONKS are copying ledgers, their fingers stained with ink.

OLIVARES (cont’d):
We call them “node monks.” They receive small indulgences for their service to the network.

DUTCH ENVOY:
This seems unnecessarily complex when a single registry would—

OLIVARES (interrupting):
Centralized systems are vulnerable! What if the Vatican questions our numbers? With SoulChain, the truth is distributed across the kingdom!

The ROYAL TREASURER approaches with a worried expression.

ROYAL TREASURER:
Your Excellence, we’ve detected unauthorized ledger activity in the Catalan monastery.

OLIVARES:
A heretical fork attempt! Dispatch the inquisitors immediately!

He turns back to the financiers, composing himself.

OLIVARES (cont’d):
Early adoption challenges. Now, for our premier financial instrument: the SoulToken.

He presents ornate wooden tokens with crosses carved into them.

OLIVARES:
Each token represents one soul saved in the New World. They can be traded, split, or combined! The value is backed by divine grace – the ultimate store of value!

VENETIAN BANKER:
How do we know the supply won’t be… inflated?

OLIVARES:
The system is programmed—I mean, divinely ordained—to reduce the salvation reward by half every four years. We call it “The Halving.” Makes early investors—I mean, donors—more blessed!

PORTUGUESE MERCHANT:
But what practical use do these tokens have?

OLIVARES:
Transaction fees for the Spanish Empire’s services will now be payable in SoulTokens! Need a royal license? Five tokens. Court judgment? Ten tokens. They’re the future of imperial finance!

A MONK rushes in with a smoking candle.

MONK:
Excellence! The Jesuits in Mexico are consuming enormous amounts of candle wax to validate transactions! The network is congested!

OLIVARES:
Scaling challenges. We’re implementing our “Lightning Prayer Network” soon – off-chain salvation for smaller sins.

He notices the DUTCH ENVOY examining his ledger closely.

OLIVARES (suspiciously):
I see the Dutch are interested in our technology? Planning your own SoulChain, perhaps?

DUTCH ENVOY:
We prefer a different consensus mechanism. “Proof of Trade” is more our style.

OLIVARES (addressing everyone):
Gentlemen, those who invest early in SoulChain will secure their position in this revolutionary system! The Spanish Empire isn’t just conquering lands; we’re conquering the future of finance!

As he speaks, a MONK quietly updates the conversion count on the board, manually adding a zero to make the numbers look more impressive.