{Scene: A cozy library lined with leather-bound books. Jordan Peterson and Richard Dawkins sit across from each other in large armchairs. A fireplace crackles behind them. Peterson wears a look of intense seriousness; Dawkins looks mildly skeptical but intrigued.]

Jordan Peterson: Well, you see, Richard, the dragon is real. Not in the sense of flesh and blood, but as an archetype that emerges from the collective unconscious. It’s chaos, embodied—like a snake with wings! It represents everything unknown that could devour us at any moment.

Richard Dawkins: (smirking) So you’re saying that dragons, creatures from mythology, are lurking in our minds, poised to… devour us with metaphysical teeth?

Jordan Peterson: Precisely! And if we don’t confront them, they grow larger, and larger, until they consume our very souls! It’s not just a Jungian idea—it’s universal. That’s why myths across the world have dragons. We created them, Richard, to warn ourselves.

Richard Dawkins: Fascinating, Jordan. But you see, the evolutionary explanation is much simpler. Dragons are an amalgamation of predators: snakes, raptors, lions. Our ancestors would’ve had an advantage if they were wary of all three, so dragons are just… you know, an imaginary super-predator that our brains invented.

Jordan Peterson: (grinning) Imaginary super-predator, yes! But don’t you see, that proves my point. It’s an ancient warning baked into our consciousness! Even if you rationally dismiss the dragon, it still feels real. That’s why you fear it. And that’s why, in dreams, dragons come back to haunt us.

Richard Dawkins: I’m not sure I’ve ever dreamed of a dragon, Jordan. Though I did once dream I was a zebra trying to explain evolution to a very disinterested herd of wildebeest.

Jordan Peterson: (nodding sagely) Exactly, Richard. That’s the dragon in another form. Your zebra self faced the dragon of indifference. The herd represents society! The wildebeest are unwilling to listen to hard truths.

Richard Dawkins: (frowning) I… I’m not sure that’s quite the case. But speaking of dragons, isn’t it rather medieval? You can’t seriously expect people to believe in ancient, mystical beasts.

Jordan Peterson: Oh, it’s not about belief. It’s about engaging with the idea of the dragon, as if it were real! That’s why young men need to slay dragons—they have to confront their inner fears, wrestle with chaos.

Richard Dawkins: Hmm. But what about a… dinosaur? A T-Rex, for instance? It’s a real, documented predator. Can’t young people just, you know, imagine themselves facing a T-Rex? At least that’s scientifically valid.

Jordan Peterson: (enthusiastically) Absolutely not! The T-Rex is cold, amoral. It’s not personal. The dragon is different. It has intent, it has purpose. It’s the embodiment of your greatest fears, and overcoming it means something.

Richard Dawkins: (leaning back and sighing) So if I understand correctly, the dragon, to you, is a metaphor for… one’s greatest personal challenges?

Jordan Peterson: Yes! Precisely!

Richard Dawkins: (mutters) I still think it’s a bit absurd. But I suppose if it keeps people from traipsing off into the woods with swords, hunting actual dragons…

Jordan Peterson: (whispering intensely) Dragons are real, Richard. You just haven’t met yours yet.

Richard Dawkins: (deadpan) If I do, I’ll be sure to bring a sensible pair of walking shoes and a magnifying glass. Just in case it’s a Komodo.

[Both men sit in contemplative silence. The fire crackles. They sip tea, looking equally perplexed by each other’s existence.]

Later

Jordan Peterson: (speaking intensely) Richard, you simply cannot underestimate the dragon’s influence. You wake up, you’re surrounded by dragons—dragons at the grocery store, dragons in traffic. Everywhere, they threaten the very order of your being!

Richard Dawkins: (squinting) Nonsense, Jordan. The “dragon” is merely an exaggerated projection of primal fears. Now, if you want an animal that truly haunts civilization, consider the humble pigeon. Ubiquitous, invasive, potentially… weaponized. (Pauses for emphasis) Have you noticed how they watch us?

Jordan Peterson: (leaning forward, intrigued) Pigeons, you say? You think they’re dragons in disguise?

Richard Dawkins: (nodding sagely) They must be, yes. I mean, think about it—what’s more insidious than a creature that lurks on statues, blending into the scenery? Much more sophisticated than medieval dragons. No flames, no scales—but they defecate on your history.

Jordan Peterson: (excitedly) That’s it! The pigeon is the postmodern dragon! It’s camouflaged, subtle—it’s chaos in gray. Dragons have evolved, Richard. Just as we evolved past flint tools, so too has the dragon adapted.

Richard Dawkins: Precisely. And by the way, they’re watching us right now. (Points at a pigeon that’s inexplicably perched on the bookshelf, staring at them.)

Jordan Peterson: (gesturing grandly) Do you not see, Richard? This pigeon-dragon represents everything we’ve been trying to ignore. Civilization’s been infiltrated by these silent agents of entropy! They demand to be… confronted, yes, confronted directly!

Richard Dawkins: (nodding) And who will confront them? Surely, the youth? Should we arm them with birdseed and bravery?

Jordan Peterson: No, no, no, Richard! Birdseed would only strengthen them. We must confront them psychologically. We must assert ourselves as the superior creature. Every man, woman, and child must look a pigeon in the eye and say, “I am more than you!”

Richard Dawkins: (frowning) But won’t they… just fly away?

Jordan Peterson: (whispering dramatically) Only if they fear us.

[An awkward pause follows as they stare at the pigeon. The pigeon stares back, unwavering.]

Dawkins: Well, then, what about lizards? I mean, isn’t it more likely that dragons are simply oversized lizards?

Jordan Peterson: (shaking his head vigorously) That’s where you’re wrong, Richard! Lizards are merely foot soldiers. They’re the infantry in the Dragon Army. Every dragon worth its salt needs its scouts, its spies—so, naturally, the dragon manifests itself in smaller forms.

Richard Dawkins: (stroking chin) Hmm. So you’re saying every time I’ve ignored a gecko, I’ve dismissed a part of my soul?

Jordan Peterson: (pointing excitedly) Exactly! By ignoring the gecko, you’re evading your cosmic responsibility! The dragon sends the gecko as a reminder—a tiny, scaley existential crisis.

[The pigeon flaps its wings and lands on the table between them. Both stare at it, transfixed.]

Richard Dawkins: (sighing) Perhaps dragons are just… inevitable. One day, maybe, humanity will simply learn to coexist with them in their various forms—lizards, pigeons, the odd crocodile in a sewer.

Jordan Peterson: (sighs, suddenly wistful) But until then, we’ll keep facing them, Richard, each in our own way. Some with reason, some with passion… and some (points to the pigeon) with a steely stare.

[They both stare at the pigeon, who tilts its head, unfazed.]

[The End]